Gratitude

Gratitude…actually not just gratitude, but heart wrenching gratitude. The feeling that makes your heart feel like it’s expanding beyond its normal size.  It hurts in a really good way.  I imagine this is what the Grinch felt when his heart grew three sizes bigger that day in Whoville.  I have experienced this feeling before in my life and today, I felt it again and it hurt really good.  Please allow me to share what happened.

Seven years ago, I had a couple that were both seeing me for Journey sessions.  They each wanted to see me weekly and as our sessions continued, money became tight for them, and with each visit they would give me a cheque and ask me to not cash it until they had the funds available.  This continued until I had cheques that they could not cover and they decided to stop seeing me until they could afford more sessions.  They left owing me $300.

I kept their cheques and I would look at them periodically and wonder how the couple was doing; I also wondered if I would ever get paid.  A few years after, I decided to write “Paid in full” on the envelope that I had placed the cheques in.  I decided to truly let go of receiving payment and, in my thoughts, I wished the couple well.

Two days ago, I received an email via my website with an enquiry.  I opened the email and it was from the client that owed me money from seven years before.  The message simply said,  “How much do I owe you, $300?

I no longer have the same phone number and my email address had changed and he somehow found my website and was able to contact me. 

I honestly couldn’t remember how much was owed or if I had even kept the cheques.  When I found them, I was reminded that I had written “Paid in full” on the envelope.  I had indeed let go of ever hearing from the couple or ever receiving this money.  The other interesting note is that the cheques were dated April 26th, 2013.  Almost seven years to the day, since they were written.

I replied to his email and confirmed the amount, yet I was still in shock about hearing from him.  I didn’t have any expectation of receiving money; I was just letting it all sink in.

Today, another email arrived from him asking if he could transfer money to this email address and I confirmed that he could.  A short while later, I received an email confirming that the deposit into my bank account was made in the amount of $300.

I replied to thank him and to confirm that I received the funds and, mostly, to let him know how much I appreciated his integrity and the fact that he had honoured our agreement from seven years ago.

It was at this moment that the overwhelming feeling of gratitude made my heart stretch and I felt that really good ache in my chest.  I had tears in my eyes then and I do now as I write this. 

 - It’s not about the money - it’s the opportunity to witness such goodness and integrity, that has made this ache of gratitude that I feel.  It’s also the small miracle that he found me through my website, that I just created in November and hoped to use partially to share my writing. However, since December, I have not had the ability to put any words on paper or screen.  With so much suffering, fear and uncertainty that we all are experiencing, I felt there were no words that mattered; until today.  

In the midst of all that is happening in our world, I have been offered a huge gift and I thank you for allowing me to share it with you.