Water... the Metaphor For Life

I have always had a love hate relationship with water - as in bodies of water - that you swim in.  I love to be near water and the sights and sounds of water are so soothing to my soul.  I love to be in water and play and splash and swim.  Really, I love to be in water with certain “conditions”.  The conditions are that I don’t have to put my head under water, or dive into water, or be splashed unexpectedly.  So, clearly, as long as I’m in control, I’m fine.  As I write this, I can see the first metaphor for life:  As long as I’m in control, I’m fine.  I’ve come to realize that was all bullshit. 

I’ve had many experiences in water that were both wonderful and not so wonderful.  The first experience was with my sister when we almost drowned in the creek that ran through the small town where we grew up.  We lost our footing and were sinking in the sand on the bottom of the creek and were grabbing at each other to save ourselves. As one of us would come up for air, the other would be pushed under.  I’m sure that to the many other people swimming we looked like we were playing a game or riding on some invisible underwater teeter totter.  As we somehow regained our footing and saved ourselves, we pretended that nothing had happened and returned to shore.  Of course, we never told our mother because we’d never be allowed to return unsupervised, and that would be humiliating to have your mommy come and watch you swim in a small town where everyone knew you.  

The next memory is again during my childhood, when we would make frequent visits to our aunt and uncle’s cottage and swim and play in the river.  You can be assured that if there was broken glass or anything sharp, I would step on it and cut my foot.  I was like a magic detector of dangerous objects. I’m sure that my siblings and cousins would send me in first to find the danger and then they could swim freely.  Talk about taking one for the team.  So, I would sit on the dock watching everyone else have fun with my foot bandaged and feeling sorry for myself. 

Well, enough not so wonderful and on to the wonderful.  I was swimming with my friend, Anne, in the lake by her cottage.  We were discussing doing a back float and I said that I did it with my head out of the water as I didn’t like to get water in my ears. That to me was bordering on putting your head under water, which was one of my “conditions” for being in water.  She encouraged me to let go and just relax and slowly let my head rest in the water.  I did it and the most magical thing happened.  A dragonfly came and landed on my forehead.  In spiritual teachings, the dragonfly represents transformation, and there I was transforming my fear and trusting that I was held and supported by the water.

Now let’s talk about the ocean, which is a whole other ballgame.  I love to watch the waves and listen to them crash against the shore.  To me it’s pure magic.  I love being in the waves, if they aren’t too high and rough (more conditions); I could swim and play in the surf all day.  The problem, well at least for me, is getting in and out of the ocean, especially when the waves are high.  

So again, I’m with my friend Anne; this time, we’re on a gorgeous beach in Anguilla and the turquoise water and waves are so inviting.  We walk into the water and then fear begins to take hold of me. As a big wave comes, I freeze and it has me rolling in the surf like a rag doll then spits me out back at the shore, with some scratches and a bruised ego.  I then chose to stay in shallow water, where I felt more stable.  I couldn’t bring myself to try to go in again and I missed a day of enjoying the water with my friend.

The beautiful thing about life is that it keeps giving you opportunities for a “do-over”.  Fast forward a few years and I’m in Florida with my friend Sheila.  The first day we went to the beach, the waves were gentler and I easily walked in and we had a delightful time swimming in the waves.  The second visit to the beach was much different.  The waves were very high and much stronger.

I began walking into the water and I saw a big wave coming at me.  I braced against it and, yes you guessed it, I was knocked over by the powerful wave, but I somehow swam and managed to get into the deeper water.  The entire time I was swimming and playing in the waves, I had this nagging thought of “how will I get out”? 

Eventually, the time came to leave the water and I tried my best to time my exit with the waves. I got almost to shore and was attempting to run, not very successfully, to get out before it hit me.  Again, I braced myself as it hit me and again another tumble in the surf, which resulted in a swimsuit full of tiny stones and pieces of seashells and more scrapes on my body.

This time was different as I sat and pondered what went wrong. I watched small children go in and out of the waves successfully and then I “got it”.  They were playful and jumped with the waves and didn’t brace against them. They were relaxed and having fun and being flexible.

An ah-ha moment! It all became so clear that this was a metaphor for life.  When you brace against life, it will knock you down and drag you through the dirt or sand.  The faster you try to run from it, the quicker it will catch you and overpower you.  When you turn and surrender to it and be flexible and roll with it, you will be carried and kept afloat.

I believe from my personal experience that I have been carried through many difficult times in my life, when I had no strength to be rigid or push back. I also see that when I was trying to control and hold on to something or someone, the result was very painful.  The irony is that my fear of getting hurt, which caused me to hold on, was actually what created the pain that I had feared. Try to get your head around that twisted mess.

 Now, my intention is to trust and relax in all areas of my life and know that when I choose to let go of control, magic happens, and opportunities and experiences that I had never dreamed possible occur.  The other beautiful thing about life is that it gives you the opportunity to choose, in every moment.  Do I want to have seashells embedded in my butt cheeks or do I want to float in the waves of life?  

I am grateful to life for every scratch, scrape and hurt.  It makes the choosing so much easier.  I realize that hate was actually fear, and I want to choose is to love and enjoy the water, and live life fearlessly.